


Like a Book

by H3llcat



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Abuse, Angst, M/M, Past Child Abuse, Past Sexual Abuse, Post-TLJ
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-02
Updated: 2018-02-02
Packaged: 2019-03-12 12:52:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13547721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/H3llcat/pseuds/H3llcat
Summary: Ren is unsettled after his defeat on Crait and wants someone to share in his misery.





	Like a Book

“You come from nothing. You’re nothing.” The line doesn’t work on Hux the same way it had the girl, not inspiring tears but rather a clenched jaw, a straight back, and flickers of memories that Ren grabs hold of and dredges to the surface. “Not even your father wanted you, you were his crowning disappointment.” He picks the ones most heavily clouded with shame and exploits them, unsettled after his embarrassment on Crait, leaving him desperate for someone to share in his misery. Hux is, as always, a convenient target. 

_ “You’re lucky I let you live past birth.” Ren watches through the eyes of a heartbroken child as a man stalks closer, lashing a foot out to kick hard at his side. “I shouldn’t have, that was perhaps my biggest mistake. Look at you. You’re weak.”  _

“Your father was right. You’re weak, useless. I don’t know why I keep you around, maybe I shouldn’t.” Ren tangles his fingers in slicked down hair, tousling it out of its careful, conservative style, and giving it a tug almost as if trying to physically pull the memories from Hux’s head to force him to relive a painful past. 

“This is low even for you,” Hux chides, lifting his head a little higher and evenly meeting the Supreme Leader’s gaze. He’s angry at himself, if anything. Ren knew to look for these memories because Hux had shared them, once, a time that felt so long ago. Limbs had been tangled together in warm sheets, trust and affection settling over them. But that was then, a brief moment in a turbulent history together. Ren had kissed his eyelashes and murmured uncharacteristic words of support, but Hux had known even then that he would someday come to regret opening up his past like a book for Ren to rip the pages from and shove in his face. 

Ren digs deeper, wrenching out unspeakable horrors his once lover had suffered. 

_ One weathered hand keeps him firmly pressed to a cadet’s thin bunk, the other fumbling with an officer’s belt buckle. Ren feels Hux’s fear as the man barks at him to quit whining and hold still, that this’ll be so much nicer if he stops fighting. Uniform trousers are dropped and he,  _ Hux _ , is turned over onto his stomach. Ren feels Hux’s hands curl into the itchy sheets beneath him, feels his forehead pushing down into a hard pillow. Then, pain.  _

“You slept your way into your position,  _ General _ . You didn’t get here by your own merit, you spread your legs for favors and now look where you are. Inexperienced, undeserving—“

“Stop,” the word sounds so weak as it slips unbidden from Hux’s lips, all color draining from his face with his shame. 

Ren wraps a hand about his throat, pushing until he has him pressed to the wall. “Stop? My fleet is destroyed because of you! The Resistance got away because of your failure!” He squeezes, strong fingers restricting struggling breaths. 

_ A skipped lesson has his father seeing red. “You’re an embarrassment! I go to great lengths to build up our good name and you’re doing your damned best to throw that all away!” Fists meet an already bruised belly, already cracked ribs, again, again.  _

Ren releases his hold to shove Hux to the ground, bringing his boot down into his side, again, again. 

Hux curls in on himself, but he is unafraid as the last vestiges of his loyalty slip away, and he turns a burning glare up to their tantruming leader. “I keep the Order together! The crew looks to me behind your back before following your command and you’re more dense than even I imagined if you honestly haven’t seen it! You have power because  _ I  _ allow it to be so!”’ 

With a snap of Ren’s wrist, Hux is again slammed against the wall, held by invisible hands at his eye level. “You’re nothing,” Ren murmurs, low and dangerous and desperate, one last effort to break the resilient general. With another fast gesture, Hux falls to the polished floor, unconscious.

— 

“I’m so sorry.” Ren had snuck into his quarters and now presses close, leaving damp kisses down the length of his arm, ghosting his lips over his thin undershirt where he is sure bruises hide beneath. “You’re not nothing. You’re not nothing,” he whispers, reverent, against spots of black and blue littering Hux’s throat. “You’re everything. I couldn’t do this without you. I don’t know who I am without you.” 

Hux can hear the tears in his pathetic blathering, and takes pity on him. He laces his fingers through dark tangles, rubbing soothing circles into his scalp. Ren throws one of his legs over his, snuggling close to his side with a shuddery sigh of relief. “Thank you for forgiving me,” he mumbles sleepily, those simple words making Hux pause. 

Forgiveness? No. The darkest parts of his past had been used against him, he’d been beaten, berated all by a man who now cuddled up beside him like nothing had happened, like they were still the same people they had been when Hux had shared so much of himself, fucked out and at peace in each other’s arms, in a very different life than they currently led. Not forgiveness. His caressing fingers turn harsh, yanking at dark hair to rip Ren’s head off his aching side. “I can’t demand you leave,  _ Supreme Leader _ , but I do humbly request a few hours of rest before I so uselessly put your fleet back together. Perhaps you could knock me out again? Granting me those few moments of unconsciousness is by far the kindest thing you’ve ever done for me.” 

The sharp words send Ren immediately, shocked, to his feet, and, still looking like a kicked puppy, he takes a few steps back. “I’ll let you sleep then…” He agrees dumbly, not having expected or been prepared for rejection. He pushes the button to open the door, but Hux speaks again once he’s through it. 

“Oh, and, Ren? Don’t forget the most important part of my story: how my father met his end.” 

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on [twitter @h311cat](https://twitter.com/h311cat) or on [tumblr](https://h3llcat.tumblr.com/).


End file.
